Paralyze
by saku2007
Summary: "I was no longer Bella, just a body with no soul I'd found my reason for living and now it was gone, I was gone." Songfic-Oneshot -Paralyze


**A/N Ok I did this in 30 minutes so it isn't that great, it's the part in New moon when Edward leaves just changed around a bit hope you enjoy. ( Oh and most of the flashbacks are fake)**

**Song- Paralyze Artist- Tila Tequila**

**DONT OWN ANYTHING!!! (Just rearanged some stuff)**

**Bold-Song**

Regular-Bella present

_Italics-Flashback_

* * *

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, shifting through them for their real intent.

"You…don't…. want me?" I tried out the words confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

**Every time you messed with my head  
all the things you did and you said **

"No"

**See my scars spell out your name and, **

**You're paralyzing me**

My whole mind shattered and my heart broke I stared uncomprehending into his eyes**. **He couldn't mean it could he? But he has said it clearly and so surely I had no other option but to believe him he didn't want me.

"_Bella I'll be back as soon as possible I love you" Edward had to go hunting and I had to stay here and wait for him I had no other choice he had to tame his thirst._

"_I love you to, hurry back."_

"_I will" I could see the pain in his eyes of leaving me. But he'd return._

**Every time you left me behind  
all these tears are no longer mine**

I struggled to keep my voice calm and reasonable and I succeeded.

"Well that changes things" I was so numb

**Because you took it all away and, you're paralyzing** me

He looked away as he spoke again

"I'll always love you…in a way, but what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, I'm not human Bella" He stared back at me, his eyes cold. I barely listened to him.

"_I told you I'm not going anywhere; don't be afraid as long as it makes you happy I'll always be here." Edward smiled down at me and kissed my forehead."_

_I smiled back at him 'Forever' I thought to myself_

"Don't" I barely whispered "don't do this" I felt a tear slide down my cheek and force the others back

**Memories, they fall apart, whenever you're inside my head**

**Take my tears they say a lot since you're the one who put them there**

He was silent and then spoke "You're not good for me Bella" He turned his earlier words around. I stared at him feeling the worst pain I'd ever felt before

**When I needed you the most you were, nowhere to be found**

I opened my mouth to say something. Anything! That could make him stay but his eyes were already decided.

**But I still hung on just hoping for my love to come around**

"If that's what you want" I finally got out. He nodded once

**Every time you messed with my head  
all the things you did and you said **

My body got even more numb if that was possible

**See my scars spell out your name and, you're paralyzing me**

"I would like to ask one favor though, if that's not to much" he said

I wonder what he saw on my face because something flickered across his face in response. But before I could identify it he'd composed his features.

"Anything" I vowed

"_If I asked you to do something for me would you do it" I asked cuddling into his arms_

"_Anything" he leaned down and kissed my forehead_

"_Don't ever leave me"_

**Every time you left me behind  
all these tears are no longer mine**

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid and please forget about me"

**Because you took it all away and, you're paralyzing me**

"I mean I'm thinking of Charlie of course, he needs you, take care of yourself-for him"

"I will" I whispered.

"And I'll make you a promise in return, I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back; I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on in life without any interference from me; it will be as if I never existed."

**I miss those times when things were simple, and you're heart was mine  
I just don't understand how you could throw it all away**

My knees started to shake and the trees wobbled. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. His voice sounded further away.

He smiled gently at me "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more then a sieve, time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories" it sounded like something was stuck in my throat.

"Well- I won't forget, but my kind…we're very easily distracted" he smiled a little smile that didn't reach his eyes.

**When I needed you the most you were, nowhere to be found  
But I still hung on, just hoping for my love to come around**

"Well that's everything I suppose. Don't worry we won't bother you again" The plural took my attention.

"Alice isn't coming back" I realized I didn't make a sound but he seemed to understand me and shook his head slowly.

**Every time you messed with my head  
all the things you did and you said **

"Alice is gone" my voice filled with disbelief. I didn't want to believe it

**See my scars spell out your name and, you're paralyzing me**

"_Edward I want to be with you and only you"_

"_Same for me love" _

"_Then change me now Edward there's nothing to lose" His eyes were hesitant then he shook his head no._

**Every time you left me behind **

**All these tears are no longer mine **

My face flashed with anger and his face with pain.

**Because you took it all away and you're paralyzing me**

"Why didn't you just bite me then" my voice was quiet and he shook his head. "You knew there'd come a day when you didn't want me" my voice rose a little. "You lied to me"

**Look up in the sky.  
It's a bird, it's a plane.**

"Goodbye Bella" he voice was quiet and his face filled with pain. My tears finally spilled.

**Naw it's just me again, cryin' in the rain.  
I can't figure out why I feel so ashamed.**

"Wait" I choked out the word, reaching for him my legs finally moving forward.

I thought he was reaching for me too but his cold hands locked around my wrist and pinned them to my side...

**You pushed me so hard, that I feel so insane.  
Every time I'd cry you ain't there to wipe my eyes.**

He leaned down and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed and I breathed in his scent probably the last time I'd smell it. And I think he did the same.

**Whenever I was scared you weren't by my side.  
The only thing it did was it made me wise.**

"_Edward I can't dance" I said quietly there was a brief movement and I realized I was on his feet. He smiled down._

"_Now you can"_

"Take care of yourself" He whispered

**So I guess it's all good cause it kept me alive.**

The wind blew a little and I opened my eyes

He was Gone.

**When I needed you the most you were, nowhere to be found**

With shaky legs ignoring the fact my action was useless I followed him into the forest his path disappeared instantly, there were no footprints.

**But I still hung on, just hoping for my love to come around**

I had to keep going if I stopped love, meaning, life…over. My head was pounding and tears blurred my vision

**Every time you messed with my head**

"_I'll never leave you"_ his voice echoed in mind

**All the things you did and you said  
see my scars spell out your name and, you're paralyzing me **

It was dark now and I tripped on something. I stayed down and curled up into a ball.

**Every time you left me behind**

I cried for all I was worth I never knew a person could have so many tears.

**All these tears are no longer mine**

I was no longer Bella, just a body with no soul I'd found my reason for living and now it was gone, I was gone. Edward took that away

**Because you took it all away and, you're paralyzing me**


End file.
